Thoughts on women, self-defense and karate

I have had the fortune of practicing the last few times with a new friend I've met here in the D whom I shall refer to as "Amy". Although she did not have any previous martial arts experience, Amy was enthusiastic enough to want to see what karate was all about and I'm glad she was because her presence has sparked a lot of thought. Amy, who could be described as a young white female, told me about an incident where she had been physically assaulted (groped) by a man. In her retelling of the incident, she said that she had sort of blanked-out and her body went "numb" as this was happening. Fortunately she was able to get away from this individual and escape, although she says she doesn't quite remember how or what she did to get away. What she does remember is feeling angered by the incident afterward. In response to my asking Amy what she might physically do again in that type of situation she said that the socialization she's had as a female makes her to want to "empathize" and thus "feel bad" about potentially hurting someone despite what they might be doing to her. That got me thinking about something Rory Miller highlights in Meditations on Violence:

"Don't be afraid to be rude. In the vast majority of these predator assaults, you did not ask for the attention and you have no obligation to the person trying to get close, no matter what he tells you or what your momma told you about being polite." (pg. 133)

Amy did end up enrolling herself in some self-defense classes which she said helped her to be more comfortable and confident with using her body in ways that would have seemed "rude" before. What's interesting is how she (unintentionally) delineated between having taken "self-defense classes" as opposed to having never done any "martial arts". That begs the question What do people think karate is? and How do karateka themselves define what they do? What's needed I think is a pedagogical model of karate that corresponds to the realities of women like Amy. Here's a female-bodied person who has actually had the real experience of being assaulted. Here I am, a student of a martial art and I have never had the experience of this reality that I am supposedly training to deal with. It's more like Amy could benefit from functional self-defensive skill more than me! The modern dojo environment in which I have trained is severely divorced from reality in that respect. What we do in the dojo has less to do with self-defense (the origin of karate) than it does with maintaining a kind of elaborate physical ritual. Where and how did we go from something useful, practical and effective (not to mention that karate is a holistic art so there is a spiritual side as well) to screaming paper tigers in white pajamas? I'm not implying that only females need this kind of functional skill. As a male, I know all too well what it feels like to not want to be rude and to empathize with someone else despite their aggression. But as a male, I am also aware of the fact that it is highly unlikely that I will be objectified and groped (or worse) on the street. That fact alone may be what saves me from having to be in those kinds of dangerous situations in the first place. I'm not saying that women need to do karate more than men. I'm saying that, in light of the contextual premise on which the karate of Okinawa was founded (i.e. habitual acts of physical violence), and because women are still disproportionately affected by physical assault/abuse perpetrated by men, finding a way to teach karate as was originally taught could be very beneficial to women in the 21st century. And beneficial to men as well considering that modern karate also tends to focus mainly on physical brutality and not spiritual development (a sort of prerequisite perhaps towards de-escalating internal male aggression). 

Elbow SMASH!
- Hiji Até