Goal Setting

So in the last entry I wrote about "personal safety". I actually googled that term because I was curious to know what was active in Oakland that spoke to that. I came across two significant things that I'm wanting to get more involved with to see if that fits my style. One was R.A.D. (Rape Aggression Defense systems) and the other was IMPACT Bay Area. There is actually going to be an "Intro to Personal Safety" seminar/class on the 8th of May put on by IMPACT that I have reserved my space for. I'm excited about all of this because it is exactly the kind of thing I wanted when I walked into my first real karate dojo nearly 6 years ago. Of course I could not have articulated that back then because I didn't exactly have a good understanding of what modern karate actually was. I thought self-defense was a skill that a practitioner eventually just acquired through enough sweat and blood at the dojo. How wrong I was. And my time in Detroit has shown me that. (Don't get me wrong; you definitely need to put in hella sweat and blood if you wanna succeed, but it depends on what you wanna succeed at). This was one of the main things that frustrated me in about the 2nd year of training. I didn't know what I wanted with my karate! And I was confused and angry at myself and I actually quit training for nine months because nothing was making sense to me. What I want with my karate has nothing to do with being a tournament competitor. I never much had an interest in showing off my kata for trophy's or for getting points in a kumite match. While I think it's good to get the experience of performing in front of people (especially for shy guy's like myself), it's really not conducive towards building self-defensive skill. I can't help but think of modern karate as being art for art's sake (a term the author Matthew Fox uses to describe the "consumer mentality" of art) as opposed to art for creativity's sake (a term the same author uses to describe "evolving and for healing people and the Earth"). What I want with my karate now is to be certified in the aspects of personal safety. I want to become a certified "professional" in this area (either through one of the groups mentioned or something else) because I personally believe that this is part of the essence of a living karate. Because karate was developed as "civilian self-defense", I think it's only natural that karateka should be concerned with having functional skill in that area (not just physical skill). Karate was once a holistic martial art. It needs to be practiced as such. Too many people are walking into karate dojo thinking they are learning the "real" thing when in fact it's more like Oriental aerobics. I'm thinking that it might be good for me to continue to train in my style of karate (Matsubayashi-ryu), but of course, while in Oakland I am planning to get involved with other martial arts. Continuing to be a member of my style is what gives me the legitimacy of being linked to my Okinawan roots; but getting certified and becoming a professional in the field of personal safety is what is going to give my karate any legitimacy outside the dojo.

Elbow SMASH!
- Hiji Até

Personal Safety

I was in the city of Emeryville today, which is about 10 or 15 minutes away from the Fruitvale neighborhood of Oakland in which I live. I was in a busy shopping district with restaurants, hotels, and plenty of businesses. It was a regular 'ol commercial district for middle-class types such as myself who need their Target-bought consumer goods. Anyway, the point is it was hella busy and there was plenty of people. Well, I was waiting to turn left at the light and I happened to look to my left and witnessed a man acting strange near a truck. Then I heard a soft "crash". The man then looked around quickly. I realized he was breaking into the truck in broad daylight. He reached inside for something I couldn't see. Another man in a small civic-type car was waiting. After doing the deed, the car drove off. I tried to follow it with my eyes, but by the time the light turned green, the car was already gone. Curious, I drove to the scene of the crime. It was in the parking lot of a fairly populated restaurant. I saw that they had actually broken into two vehicles, windows smashed. The vehicles themselves were towards the edge of the lot, so it was away from the main entrances, but the lot was highly visible from the street. I'm pretty sure I was not the only one to witness that. It's crazy that in less than a month, I've already been the target of an attempted mugging and now I've actually seen a "crime" in progress. Seeing that obviously got me thinking about a lot of things. What would I have done had I actually been close enough to do something? I feel like, in a case like that I would've just memorized the license plate of the car and its make/model, mentally photographed the individuals involved, and then called 911 to report it. What would I have done had I unintentionally walked up on the individuals while in the process of their deed? I'm not even sure. What would be safe to do? The author Rory Miller says that the first line of self-defense is "avoidance". To not be there in the first place is your best bet at being safe. That means of course not parking in dark areas or on lonely side-streets or in areas where you know there might be trouble (among other things). So, in a case like that where I'm witnessing a crime-in-progress, what do I do? I honestly don't think yelling at the person(s) would do any good. I might agitate the situation into something worse than it needs to be. Again, I think I would have just recorded what was going on and then reported it. I know how much it sucks to come out and find your car broken into. It's happened to me at least 4 times. Replacing a window sucks and it's financially inconvenient. And there is a feeling of being "violated". On a more serious level, witnessing a crime like that (while being petty and materialistic) makes me think about what I would do if I witnessed something far more serious (an attempted rape, or someone getting shot or about to get shot). In the above case, it's only the car that's in trouble. In the latter case, it's the person's life in trouble. Rory Miller warns us to work out our "ethics" before you find yourself in a "self-defense" situation. You won't have time to figure out what to do when it's happening. Again, as I've mentioned in the previous posts, I think it's highly critical that karate get back to what's real and that a dojo becomes about teaching real-life skill and not comic book violence. Imagine a class or a school in 'personal safety'. Yes, you would be learning a cultural art form and martial art, but you'd also discuss and practice various scenarios pertaining to personal safety. I mean, I think you could literally be certified in something like that if there was a course in it. And imagine how helpful that could be for young people and older people alike. High school kids who walk outside their door in fear that they might get jumped on the way home. Working men and women who clutch at their belongings as they go to the laundromat or walk briskly down the sidewalk from the bus-stop. I think at its heart, Okinawan karate can once again be about producing the self-confidence needed to not walk out into the world in fear. I was thinking how easy it was for my mind to start worrying about my personal safety here in Oakland, considering I've seen this twice now in only a few weeks. Easy to become fearful and suspicious and over-protective. I think it's important to incorporate into this "personal safety" training the understanding that your personal items (wallet, cash, card, watch, shoes, etc) are not nearly as valuable as your life. This is a "spiritual" understanding because it transcends the attachment to the physical world and its physical things that we assign value to. This imagined class or course or school doesn't teach you how to hold onto your shit while you fight for your life to defend your personal effects. It teaches you to let go of attachment to these things and to protect your life if need be. I mean, yes I know what it feels like to get pissed off cause some fool wants to take away your money. It's like, "that's not fair." And of course, it's not. The "threat" or the "predator" is not playing by your personal standards or your rules. He/she doesn't give a fuck about what your momma taught you about treating people with respect. It may not be fair but it's because your ego is holding onto those things and those ideas. This to me is partially what it means to incorporate a "spiritual philosophy" in training (letting go of attachment to form). And funny enough, most dojo will advertise this to some degree. But I have not yet come across a martial pedagogy that actually produces individuals who embody "kisshu fushin" (Demon's hand, Saint's heart). Plus, I don't actually think you can "produce" a martial artist like that. I think, honestly speaking, some people are more inclined to this kind of embodiment than others. In our industrial/business model society we get the impression that these things can be stamped into people. But if you read about the pre-industrial environment that karate developed in, the master would not be teaching anybody off the street. The student population would be extremely small, maybe one or two or three. What does that say? To me that implies that the master would be evaluating your character before they taught you anything, especially something as brutal as karate. In our world today, character is not determined by your behavior or your actions. It's determined by numbers. For example, I just got approved for a rental here in Oakland. How did they determine if I was suitable or not to live there? My credit score. Now, having bad credit might say something about the person's personal money decisions, but honestly, numbers cannot determine your character. Who knows why that person has a bad score? I'm privileged in my own middle-class upbringing to have had the financial security to be able to avoid having bad credit, but hell, I could be an abusive, drug-dealing, psychotic maniac at the same time (more on that "abusive" part later). The point of all this off-topic rambling is to say that we need a pedagogical model of teaching karate that corresponds to and is informed by the reality in which this art grew (violence). Without the input of that information from reality, the art becomes what it is today...comic book. It's literally little more than Orientalized physical fitness with just a hint of violence or at least the pretense of it. And what the hell good does that do anybody? It's the same thing with these public schools and why kids drop-out. They ain't learnin' nothin' that is applicable to their lives beyond math, reading, and writing. Peoples lives are at stake and you're giving them a squirt gun to defend themselves. WTF? Again, the point of all this ramble is just to say that I would like to see a school/dojo/class that actually can certify the student in something real (like a degree in Personal Safety). As Bruce Lee once said, your belt doesn't matter much except to hold your pants up. What actually matters is if you can actually fight or if you can actually defend yourself from attack (depending on what your specific martial art specializes in). And, in the case of personal safety, not only concentrating on the "fight" but on the other areas of personal safety/self-defense that authors like Rory Miller have highlighted for us (such as knowledge of self-defense law, your personal ethics, the psychological effect of violence, etc). That's some real shit that needs to seen today, I believe. I could get down with facilitating a class like that.

Elbow SMASH!
- Hiji Até

Tired of the martial B.S.

So, I was driving down International Blvd. again (yeah, it's what I do for fun) and I saw the words "karate" in that pseudo-Oriental type script that's so common. Anyway, the name of the place was "Haywood Brothers Karate" and it had "McDojo" written all over it (not a judgement, just a feeling I got based upon the trophies in the windows and the samurai swords on the wall). The instructor was not there but I talked to an older adult male student. He explained to me that they learned what was called "kenpo karate". I ignorantly asked if that was at all connected to Okinawan karate. He couldn't give me a straight answer. I felt dumb for sounding as if I was challenging his knowledge base.

Since going to Detroit and realizing a great many things about this art of my ancestors, it concerns me even more so now about what is being taught out there, specifically with regards to self-defense. Having read (and still reading) the thoughts of Rory Miller, Iain Abernethy, Patrick McCarthy and etc. it concerns me that a lot of what is passing as "martial arts" or "self-defense" is a bunch of bullshit. I think Jesse Enkamp over at KARATEbyJesse said it best; it's like walking into a gun store and not realizing that you bought a squirt gun. These young people out on these streets, in these schools, they need real skills. Part of what I want to do is get involved with them so that I can learn from them about what they experience on a daily basis, but also to implement a quality, skills-for-life karate/martial arts curriculum that produces functional self-defensive skill in the individual while giving them the critical thinking skills that is so lacking in the martial arts community. To me I'm like, these young people's lives are on the line! You can't be teaching them some cult bullshit and passing it off as "a way of life". You teach narrow-mindedly, you produce narrow minds. I think about what happened to me the other day when those two young men tried to rob me. It was scary. I didn't know what to do. Here I am learning a martial art and after 5 years I still don't know what to do? I know how to score a point in a tournament. I know how to perform my kata for a trophy. But when someone intends to inflict potential harm on me for my material possessions, I'm clueless. And that's what needs to change. It's not about "fighting" someone. It's not about "defending your pride". This is about your life. About your personal safety. About not having to live in fear of others. How can you function as a whole human being if you are constantly sizing up the next guy, worried that you might have to fight? Worried that you might get punked. One of the sayings I like, which I read on Patrick McCarthy's website goes, "A clenched fist cannot shake hands".

I really have no idea of what my purpose in life is. I don't know exactly what my "bliss" is (as talked about by Joseph Campbell). What I do feel is that I have to keep learning and growing. Being a "quantum karateka" means that I keep reading, learning, and training. It means that I keep searching for authenticity, for genuineness, for quality, for truth. It does us really no good if we are teaching martial arts and we have no personal experience with physical violence. It is that experience that informs the art. How I can gain that experience I really have no solid clue. All I do know is that if I were to teach people karate, I would start with being real. And creating a curriculum that revolves around what's real. I'm not interested in blindly passing on the art of my ancestors because of some feeling of "duty". I respect my Sensei, but I'm not going to blindly follow in the master's footsteps. There's too much real shit at stake for that. These Detroit and Oakland streets are letting me know.

Elbow SMASH!
- Hiji Até

Welcome to Oakland

Been in Oakland, CA for about one week now. A lot different than Detroit, MI for sure.

So I went out for Thai food last night. Needed a meal with rice or noodles. Sticky Rice Cafe right there on International Blvd. is a great local business. The Pad Thai with chicken was exceptional. My first time there and I loved it.

As I walked back to my car which I had parked on a poorly-lit, unpopulated residential/business street (probably Mistake #1), I passed by two figures whom I assumed to be a couple out of the corner of my eye because they were walking close together. Because of their hoodies and because it was 9pm at night, I could not see any faces. Of course, Mistake #2: I didn't have my head up, nor did I acknowledge them directly with a look (which is often what I do out of habit; maybe that's just my shy Asian gene). Whatever the case, after closing my passenger door to put my food away, a young Black male in a hoodie was standing right behind me, too close for comfort. I am assuming in retrospect it was the same person whom I had thought was part of that couple (because it made sense that they would have targeted me on the fly and thought I'd be quick, easy money).

Me: What's up man? (Thinking he was gonna ask me for a cigarette or something)
Young Man: I need you to empty everything out your pockets.
Me: Are you serious? (In disbelief, but I obviously wasn't feeling like getting robbed that night)

At that point, another taller young man walked briskly up from behind me (Mistake #3: I had not been paying attention to my surroundings before I approached my car and after I unlocked the door). He didn't say anything, but I knew I was in trouble. I don't remember the exact exchange of words after the above lines. As soon as I realized I was about to get mugged, I went silent. I hesitated at first to take out my wallet. My hands being down towards my pockets anyway, I fingered my wallet with my right hand. Already I knew that I would rather give up my wallet and suffer a little inconvenience losing cash and card than give up my life. I took out my entire wallet, holding it in my right hand. I didn't offer it to him, nor did I say anything. I moved my body to the left away from the car. I don't remember being panicked, but I do remember my adrenaline started to pump. I'm not sure what I was prepared to do. I think I was waiting for him to show me more threat than just words (maybe Mistake #4?) and I was prepared to give him my wallet if he pointed a gun at me or even a knife. But I backed away from him, wallet in hand, feeling like I should get some space between us and sort of prepare myself for an aggressive move on his part. I was also thinking that if he did pull a gun and shot at me, that I would be able to duck behind the car that was parked in front of mine. I think I was prepared to run if he shot. But I'm also not quite sure what I would have done if he moved aggressively towards me. Definitely I was confused on what to do! (which is why training needs to address these scenarios). As I stood there halfway in the street, wallet in hand, looking at the two young men, they seemed to hesitate on what to do with me. It sounded like they were deciding on whether to rush me or something. I remember being scared at that point but I didn't want to run away from my car thinking they might get into it (why I thought that I don't know). Nor did I want to just run away without seeing more of a threat from him (I thought, however stupidly, that I could defend against fists but not against a knife or gun). Fortunately, it never escalated past the point of words and both of them walked quickly away down the sidewalk looking back at me as I looked at them. Once I made sure they were a safe distance away and not setting up to come rushing back at me, I quickly unlocked my driver's side door, got in and drove away.

I feel I was lucky in that situation. With my lack of proper training in these matters, I was hesitant on what to do; and I feel like if it had gone beyond words and the young man pulled a weapon, that hesitancy could have resulted in something far worse.

A few things are for sure in a situation like that:

- You need to know what your Ethics are beforehand. What line you will or won't cross. Can you hurt someone? Maim them? Kill someone? Can you give up your possessions? Do you care about your new shiny cell phone more than your life?
- You need to know what is allowable to do within the law. If I gouge out his eyeballs or smash his throat or give him a concussion, how can I be held liable? Need to know what is "appropriate violence" in that context?
- You need to know what you can do physically. Am I prepared for a punch? A kick? A shove? A grab? What if he pulls a gun? A knife? At what point do I strike?
- You need to fucking pay attention to your surroundings! The second guy that came up from behind me; had I not been against my car, would he have sucker punched me or grabbed me? I was lucky in that respect.
- Need to know verbal martial arts. As soon as I knew I was in trouble, I fell silent. Should I have yelled? Should I have said something? Should I have told him to "back up" in a loud voice? Again, I think I was lucky that it didn't escalate. And of course, I'm not gonna want to escalate the situation with a smart remark or fighting words. That's stupidity. I could have easily turned a lucky-they-don't-seem-like-they-want-to-rob-me-anymore situation into a shit-they-turned-back-on-me situation if I had been trying to defend my ego instead of my body.

Of course there's more to it than that. The author Rory Miller lays out it out pretty clearly in his book Facing Violence:

"There are seven elements that must be addressed to bring self-defense training to something approaching complete. Any training that dismisses any of these areas leaves the student vulnerable." (pg. xiii)

Those "seven elements" are:

1. Legal and Ethical implications
2. Violence Dynamics
3. Avoidance
4. Counter-ambush
5. Breaking the freeze
6. The fight itself
7. The aftermath

I won't make this post any longer by going into any of those seven areas (save that for another time because I'm still learning about all those areas). I just know I need to get crackin' on my training with these things. I'm grateful nobody got hurt, but I'm also frustrated; these things are what a karate dojo needs to be teaching people! I don't care about no fucking tournaments! I don't care about how good my kata looks! I care about having real skills for real situations. Everything else is secondary. And I think this kind of training is what I'd like to get involved with teaching. As one person told me here in Oakland (she's a teacher), some of her students are scared of getting jumped and robbed. That's the kind of real thing training needs to address. Even a small incident like the one that happened to me last night had me frustrated and unable to sleep. Imagine if it had been worse? I think I would have been traumatized. Yes, we want peaceful interactions amongst members of our society; but if we don't know how to face violence (or are unwilling to), then I don't think we'll have any real peace.

Elbow SMASH!
- Hiji Até

It's the contextual premise stupid

"Hey man, I did all the other martial arts and (insert favorite martial art here) is the best man."

"(Insert despised martial art here) sucks bro. An MMA guy can kick ass on those dudes anytime!"

I often hear that kind of talk from people doing martial arts. First of all, it's the practitioner that's gonna make the art effective or not, not the art itself. And let's be real, not all martial arts were created equal! As far as I know, karate was not developed as a martial art to be used against other martial artists. Just listen to Okinawan karate master Choki Motobu:

"...the applications of kata have their limits and one must come to understand this. The techniques of kata were never developed to be used against a professional fighter, in an arena or on the battlefield. They were, however, most effective against someone who had no idea of the strategy being used to counter their aggressive behavior." (pg. 96)

In other words, and in light of the research that karate historian Patrick McCarthy has done, karate was to be utilized against a person engaging in what he terms habitual acts of physical violence. Those acts are the contextual premise, the foundation on which the techniques in the kata were created to deal with. I think this is a crucial point to understand when talking about martial arts, especially with people who have no experience with it. Most people's general perceptions of martial arts, in my experience, is seeing it as "fighting". Now, although there is a thin line between fighting and self-defense, how a person trains for one or the other seems to require two different kinds of expertise. And you have to distinguish what you mean when you talk about "fighting". Because if you are talking about fighting where there are guns involved, then no martial art in the world will help you to stop a bullet penetrating your soft, fleshy human body. And if you are talking about fighting like they do in the UFC cage, then you are talking about training in a sport that has rules and regulations and guidelines. And if you are talking about fighting like in the "street" then I don't really think you need to take the time to study a martial art; just go insult someone's momma and see what happens. So "learning how to fight" is different to me than learning how to successfully handle unprovoked aggression. Both may require similar technical understanding, but which martial art is effective or not depends on what you want it to be effective for; winning points/trophies/titles/fame or survival? 

Elbow SMASH!
- Hiji Até

Thoughts on women, self-defense and karate

I have had the fortune of practicing the last few times with a new friend I've met here in the D whom I shall refer to as "Amy". Although she did not have any previous martial arts experience, Amy was enthusiastic enough to want to see what karate was all about and I'm glad she was because her presence has sparked a lot of thought. Amy, who could be described as a young white female, told me about an incident where she had been physically assaulted (groped) by a man. In her retelling of the incident, she said that she had sort of blanked-out and her body went "numb" as this was happening. Fortunately she was able to get away from this individual and escape, although she says she doesn't quite remember how or what she did to get away. What she does remember is feeling angered by the incident afterward. In response to my asking Amy what she might physically do again in that type of situation she said that the socialization she's had as a female makes her to want to "empathize" and thus "feel bad" about potentially hurting someone despite what they might be doing to her. That got me thinking about something Rory Miller highlights in Meditations on Violence:

"Don't be afraid to be rude. In the vast majority of these predator assaults, you did not ask for the attention and you have no obligation to the person trying to get close, no matter what he tells you or what your momma told you about being polite." (pg. 133)

Amy did end up enrolling herself in some self-defense classes which she said helped her to be more comfortable and confident with using her body in ways that would have seemed "rude" before. What's interesting is how she (unintentionally) delineated between having taken "self-defense classes" as opposed to having never done any "martial arts". That begs the question What do people think karate is? and How do karateka themselves define what they do? What's needed I think is a pedagogical model of karate that corresponds to the realities of women like Amy. Here's a female-bodied person who has actually had the real experience of being assaulted. Here I am, a student of a martial art and I have never had the experience of this reality that I am supposedly training to deal with. It's more like Amy could benefit from functional self-defensive skill more than me! The modern dojo environment in which I have trained is severely divorced from reality in that respect. What we do in the dojo has less to do with self-defense (the origin of karate) than it does with maintaining a kind of elaborate physical ritual. Where and how did we go from something useful, practical and effective (not to mention that karate is a holistic art so there is a spiritual side as well) to screaming paper tigers in white pajamas? I'm not implying that only females need this kind of functional skill. As a male, I know all too well what it feels like to not want to be rude and to empathize with someone else despite their aggression. But as a male, I am also aware of the fact that it is highly unlikely that I will be objectified and groped (or worse) on the street. That fact alone may be what saves me from having to be in those kinds of dangerous situations in the first place. I'm not saying that women need to do karate more than men. I'm saying that, in light of the contextual premise on which the karate of Okinawa was founded (i.e. habitual acts of physical violence), and because women are still disproportionately affected by physical assault/abuse perpetrated by men, finding a way to teach karate as was originally taught could be very beneficial to women in the 21st century. And beneficial to men as well considering that modern karate also tends to focus mainly on physical brutality and not spiritual development (a sort of prerequisite perhaps towards de-escalating internal male aggression). 

Elbow SMASH!
- Hiji Até

Is it because I'm Asian?

So I've noticed this strange phenomenon happen to me here in Detroit. To give you some quick context, I'm like one of 5 Asian dudes in the entire city. Okay that's totally exaggerating. But there really is not a lot of Asians here. Having this distinctly East Asian male face that I have, more often than not I tend to stand out in this predominantly Black city. Which doesn't bother me at all really. It has however contributed to numerous cases of mistaken identity: "No, no. I'm not Bruce Lee. Bruce Lee was Chinese. I'm Okinawan-Japanese." Usually those comments about my supposed resemblance to the late martial arts icon are from strangers and I'm no longer fazed by any of that stuff. But a similar kind of "mistaken identity" pervades the mindset of some of the people I've actually gotten to know. It usually goes like this: I'll casually mention to someone in conversation that I do karate. For whatever reason that gets construed to mean that I'm some sort of expert. I emphasize clearly that I am just a student and I've only been training for the last 5 years. That then gets construed to mean that I'm just being humble. I explain that it has nothing to do with being humble and everything to do with being real with myself. Then somehow that's taken to mean that I'm just hiding my awesome karate skills and pretending to be mediocre. I mean maybe there's some sort of satisfaction in having secret ninja skills to hide but the fact of the matter is I have none. Perhaps that's just too disappointing for people to handle. I'm reminded of the animated film Rango in which the main protagonist, an "ordinary-guy" type character passes himself off as a slick gun fighter only to be unmasked later on much to the disappointment of those who came to believe in him. Now, while I certainly haven't tried to pass myself off as any kind of martial expert, nor have I survived any serious life-threatening encounters here in the city, certain people still seem to think I possess some deadly secret skills. I mean, if I was some white guy who did karate would people still assume this much about me? It could be that I'm misconstruing something myself here and twisting their comments to mean exactly what I want to believe about myself. Of course, it's not like I don't want to be good with my karate (and that's subjective anyway), but these misperceptions frustrate me at times. Especially when people think that I'm supposed to be some kind of "good fighter" or that I can "kick ass". This is what I believe most people think of martial arts as being about. But "fighting" implies something far more different than what my Okinawan ancestors were getting at when they said things like karate ni sente nashi. Training to attack and defend against an equally trained opponent is not the same to me as training to deal with unprovoked aggression and physical violence by someone intent on doing us harm. I think both types of training engender different states of mind. I could be wrong, as I have no real experience with either fighting or self-defense. But I do see that there is still a serious lack of understanding about this "humble tradition" from Okinawa. I guess in the end it doesn't really matter what people think about karate. No matter what I say, people are still going to see in it what they want. And if being Asian makes a person's Oriental martial fantasies go wild, what can I do? I guess I gotta just keep being real with myself.

Elbow SMASH!
- Hiji Até