Decision

I have made up my mind not to go forward with the Kidpower instructor certification process. I still believe that their material is relevant when thinking about facilitating a training space that incorporates Personal Safety training (which I will employ their services if I ever get to that point). But I'm not totally feeling that decision any more. Basically what I wanted was a way to make a living doing something that spoke to what I was about. Even if I had gone through the entire process, it is unlikely that I would be able to make a living doing that by itself. And with all the time and money spent on getting that certification, I'm not sure it would have been the smartest investment right now. Guess I was just eager to find something. Nothing "wrong" with Kidpower. I think I need to just keep looking. I only been in Oakland 6 months dammit. Had I been here 6 years and still hadn't found something, then maybe I could say there was something "wrong". But even then, who decides what's wrong or right?

I have decided to go forward with volunteering at East Oakland Boxing Association. That isn't something I had to think too hard about. The only thing making me hesitant about that decision was feeling inadequate and unqualified to potentially conduct a karate class there. Those are not valid reasons to stop myself though. If anything, those are indicators that I need to do that. Do what scares you, if you know what I mean.

So here I am again. Back at square one. My temporary job ended a week ago. Put some money in my bank account. Now what? My intention is to continue to keep my eyes open for a part-time gig that can work with my training schedule; to continue my judo and jujutsu training; and to volunteer with EOBA until I feel otherwise. There isn't much I can do about the lack of attention to fitness/health/healing in my martial arts classes; that's something I'll have to figure out for myself. There isn't much I can do about the lack of realistic training in those classes either; that's something else I'll have to figure out. And there isn't much I can do about the absence of "practical karate" teachers (along the lines of Abernethy or McCarthy) here in the Bay Area, which sucks. But it's good in a way because at least I connect to that movement and those ideas and I live here. In response to these concerns, a fellow martial arts student told me, "Looks like you'll have to start all of that." haha. Me? Little 'ol me? We'll see...

Elbow SMASH!

- Hiji Até

Hesitation

Damn. I need to decide quick if I am going to go through with the Kidpower instructor certification process. I have been feeling some hesitation about it since my recovery from my hip injury a month back. Not sure why. I was feeling enthusiastic about it since I attended their workshop in July. Since then I have been in contact with their central offices to pursue my desire to be instructor certified in their program. There is a lot of paperwork to sign, another Skype interview I have to do, money that is owed to begin the training, etc, etc. Although I told my contact person that I felt I was ready to move forward, there is a tinge of something holding me back. I'm having to really focus on being honest with myself here. Is it because I think I can't do it? Is it because there are other options out there that I am considering? Is it because I'm not really into all this "personal safety" business as I thought?

In the meanwhile I am continuing to pursue my personal martial arts training with judo and jujutsu. Although a lot is still left to be desired with my training (especially with regards to fitness and flexibility), there isn't much I can do except strive to improve upon what's there.

I am excited for an upcoming Rory Miller seminar that will be towards the end of October. Three days for which I paid an early bird fee of $265. Kind of a lot of money to me right now, but for the amount of insight, information and other illuminations I might get, I am willing to risk it. It's really great that a person like Rory Miller does seminars here in Oakland. I mean, sometimes I forget about the high degree of synchronicity I experience here in Oakland. There are a lot of avenues/opportunities for me to pursue here in the Bay Area. The key is actually pursuing them and not being afraid that it might be the wrong decision. To that end, I am going to fill out my volunteer forms for East Oakland Boxing Association (a non-profit I came across while on a delivery route for my last job) and I may reconsider the specific instructor training path I want to take with Kidpower (I was set on being a padded instructor but I realize there are other types of instructors). 

I have no idea where any of this might lead to; the one thing I am having to remind myself of constantly is that the reason I became interested in personal safety, the reason I became interested in doing Wing Chun and jujutsu, is all because I was trying to make my karate training more relevant, more realistic and more broadminded. I realized from my brief time spent showing karate to young people in Detroit that they needed something that was relevant to their immediate personal safety needs. Simply showing them any one of the 15 kata I memorized from my previous 5 years of training, while interesting and exotic, was not the reason I was interested in showing them karate in the first place. The "self-defense" aspect of karate has been disconnected from in the modern era and until my personal situation allows me the flexibility to pursue "practical karate" training, I am going to make do with what is here. It's like I've blogged about previously; I broke down karate into three areas that I feel are important for me to pursue and what I see as being interconnected parts of an entire whole: Fitness, Personal Safety, Self-defense.

That's why I started taking up judo twice a week because I really needed a good sweat; that's why I signed up for the Rory Miller seminar because I really want a reality check in learning about how to deal with violence; and that's why I'm going to reconsider the instructor training path with Kidpower. I simply need to keep pursuing and acting on the things that were made apparent to me in Detroit.

There is no "try".

Elbow SMASH!

- Hiji Até

Things Funakoshi said

At the jujutsu dojo I go to there is a bookshelf with martial arts books available for borrowing. Of course, the one book on the shelf that caught my eye was Karate-Dō: My Way of Life by Gichin Funakoshi (I believe this was one of the only karate books on the shelf actually). Besides books by Nagamine sensei, this is the only other book I've read that is available in English by one of the Okinawan masters. I just wanted to record here in this blog some things that caught my attention from his book. For anyone reading this....enjoy some karate/martial arts food for thought:

"While it is true that a karate expert has the power to break a thick board or several layers of tile with one stroke of his hand, I assure my readers that anyone is capable of doing the same thing after undergoing sufficient training. There is nothing extraordinary about such an accomplishment. Nor has it anything whatsoever to do with the true spirit of karate; it is merely a demonstration of the kind of strength that a man may acquire through practice. There is nothing mysterious about it." (pg. 10)

. . .

"Both Azato and his good friend Itosu shared at least one quality of greatness: they suffered from no petty jealousy of other masters. They would present me to the teachers of their acquaintance, urging me to learn from each the technique at which he excelled. Ordinary karate instructors, in my experience, are reluctant to permit their pupils to study under instructors of other schools, but this was far from true of either Azato or Itosu." (pg. 16)

. . .

"Today I'm a wiser man than I was yesterday. I'm a human being, and a human being is a vulnerable creature, who cannot possibly be perfect. After he dies, he returns to the elements - to earth, to water, to fire, to wind, to air. Matter is void. All is vanity. We are like blades of grass or trees of the forest, creations of the universe, of the spirit of the universe, and the spirit of the universe has neither life nor death. Vanity is the only obstacle to life." (Apparently the words of Master Matsumura from the story Funakoshi recounts of Matsumura and the Engraver, pg. 28)

. . .

"One serious problem, in my opinion, which besets present-day Karate-dō is the prevalence of divergent schools. I believe that this will have a deleterious effect on the future development of the art...There is no place in contemporary Karate-dō for different schools. Some instructors, I know, claim to have invented new and unusual kata, and so they arrogate to themselves the right to be called founders of 'schools'. Indeed, I have heard myself and my colleagues referred to as the Shōtō-kan school, but I strongly object to this attempt at classification. My belief is that all these 'schools' should be amalgamated into one so that Karate-dō may pursue an orderly and useful progress into man's future." (pg. 37-39)

. . .

"It seemed to me that I had learned an important lesson from that viper. As we continued on our way toward Azato's house, I said to my son, 'We all know about the habu's persistence. But this time that was not the danger. The habu we encountered appears to be familiar with the tactics of karate, and when it slid off into the field it was not running away from us. It was preparing for an attack. That habu understands very well the spirit of karate.' " (pg. 48)

. . .

"It was around 1935 that a nationwide committee of karate supporters solicited enough funds for the first karate dōjō ever erected in Japan...I entered for the first time the new dōjō (in Zoshigaya, Toshima Ward) and saw over the door a signboard bearing the dōjō's new name: Shōtō-kan. This was the name that the committee had decided upon; I had no idea that they would choose the pen name I used in my youth to sign the Chinese poems I wrote...I am often asked how I happened to choose the pen name of Shōtō, which became the name of the new dōjō. The word shōtō in Japanese means literally 'pine waves' and so has no great arcane significance..." (pg. 83-85)

. . .

"Some of the younger ones, I confess, disagree with me: they tell me that they believe karate may fairly be used whenever circumstances make it absolutely necessary. I try to point out that this is a total misconception of the true meaning of karate, for once karate enters, the issue becomes a matter of life and death. And how can we allow ourselves to engage in such life and death confrontations often in our few years on earth?" (pg. 93-94)

. . .

"True practice is done not with words but with the entire body. Others have mastered the kata that you are practicing. Why then are you unable to? Is there something wrong with you? These are the questions you must ask yourself; then you must train until you fall from exhaustion; then soon you must continue, using the same strict regimen. What you have been taught by listening to others' words you will forget very quickly; what you have learned with your whole body you will remember for the rest of your life." (pg. 106)

. . .

"All too frequently I hear teachers speak of trainees as oshiego ('pupil'), or montei ('follower'), or deshi ('disciple'), or kohai ('junior'). I feel such terms should be avoided, for the time may well come when the trainee will surpass his instructor. The instructor, meanwhile, in using such expressions runs the risk of complacency, the danger of forgetting that some day the young man he has spoken of rather slightingly will not only catch up with him but go beyond him - in the art of karate or in other fields of human endeavor." (pg. 109)

. . .

"The Okinawan name for our style of wrestling is 'tegumi', and should you write the word, you would use the same two Chinese characters that are used to write karate's 'kumite', except that they are reversed. Tegumi is, of course, a far simpler and more primitive sport than karate...Unlike most forms of wrestling, in which the participants are lightly clad, entrants in tegumi bouts remain fully clothed. Further, there is no special ring; the bout may be held anywhere - inside the house or in some nearby field....Once I had determined to become a karateka, I used to get four or five younger boys to wrestle with me, believing that such bouts would strengthen my arm and leg muscles as well as those of the stomach and the hips. I cannot say how much tegumi actually contributed to my mastery of karate, but I am certain that it helped fortify my will. For example, I seldom had any great difficulty thrusting back a single opponent, but my difficulties increased greatly as the number of my opponents increased. Then, if I attacked one opponent, the others would find an opening in which to attack me. It is hard to think of a better way than this to learn how to defend oneself against more than one opponent, and if it sounds like nothing but a children's game, I can assure you that those of us who engaged in it took it very seriously." (pg. 124)

- -

Elbow SMASH!

- Hiji Até

Karate is like hot water

"Karate is like hot water, if its heat is removed it becomes cold."

 - #11 of Gichin Funakoshi's "Twenty Principles of Karate-do"

The sensei at the judo dojo I am taking classes at asked me the other night if I still did karate. My mind wanted to say "yes" but I realized I would only be lying to myself if I did. So I said, "no". And that's the truth. How can I claim to still be doing karate if I'm not even practicing the kata on a regular basis? I mean, people ask me if I've done martial arts before and I always tell them that "karate is my main thing. I'm just furthering my understanding of other arts in order to inform my karate". And for the most part that's true. I mean, considering that the kata in our various systems of Okinawan karate included grappling, throwing and other close-quarter combat-type techniques, it would only seem necessary to gain an understanding of those things (especially since modern karate as taught to me did not teach this). But I recognize that unless I'm doing the thing, I can't claim to be doing the thing. Simple as that. My task right now is to find a way to keep the kata ingrained in me while still broadening my understanding of martial principles through other arts. All the while finding the time to do the other things in my life as well...sheesh. Sure is a lot sometimes. Do I have any idea what I'm doing?

Elbow SMASH!

- Hiji Até

Doing the right thing?

I'm just getting back into a training routine now. I took myself out of the loop since that hip injury I blogged about. Fortunately, it wasn't so serious that I'm permanently damaged but serious enough to let me know that I need to be realistic with myself in how I push my body. Training can't be accomplished in a day. Training is a lifetime. Patience, perseverance and dedication.

I guess being out of the training loop is why I'm feeling this hang up with wondering if I'm doing the "right" thing with my ventures into jujutsu-judo-Kidpower. An idle mind is the devil's workshop. I mean, there is no "right or wrong". It's just that, I guess deep down inside I feel inadequate. I feel unqualified. It's the same feeling I had in Detroit when I had the opportunity to teach young people what I knew about karate. I was like, "what can I teach them? I'm no Olympic champion. I'm no karate master. I'm not even that good!" Much of that skewed negative self-perspective has changed, but it still lingers in the shadows of my mind. Who said I had to be an Olympic athlete with ten gold medals around my neck in order to feel qualified to teach young people? Who said I had to have 20 years of prior martial arts experience because I've trained since I was in the womb? Yeah, I need to be realistic about my skill level with people I'm teaching, but that don't mean I don't have anything to give. With young people, it's really less about the karate for me and more about finding a way to connect with them. To show them that the adults really do care and that they are investing their time into their development. I mean, that's not to say teaching them about how to face violence (within themselves and with others) isn't also important to me, but that's an ongoing part of my own personal training that is still in the process of being articulated with regards to how I'm going to present that. For now, karate is the vehicle with which to connect. But I did have the thought the other day that it seemed like what I am moving towards, with my Kidpower instructor training and my interest in "practical karate", is something along the lines of developing a comprehensive self-defense training program for young adults. A program that's rooted in something ancient (using the kata system of Matsubayashi-ryu for instance) and linking that to the reality of violence for today's young people. Otherwise I think Okinawan karate will, at least in the U.S, continue to lose its legitimacy with people. Violence is the factor which keeps the art fresh and alive; not preserved in formaldehyde. And facing violence continues to be a tremendous problem in our world now. We need an art that can address this issue. An art that guides the physical and mental development of its adherents along strong spiritual foundations...

What is this thing they call Karate-dō?

...the way of the empty hand.

Elbow SMASH!

- Hiji Até