Decision

I have made up my mind not to go forward with the Kidpower instructor certification process. I still believe that their material is relevant when thinking about facilitating a training space that incorporates Personal Safety training (which I will employ their services if I ever get to that point). But I'm not totally feeling that decision any more. Basically what I wanted was a way to make a living doing something that spoke to what I was about. Even if I had gone through the entire process, it is unlikely that I would be able to make a living doing that by itself. And with all the time and money spent on getting that certification, I'm not sure it would have been the smartest investment right now. Guess I was just eager to find something. Nothing "wrong" with Kidpower. I think I need to just keep looking. I only been in Oakland 6 months dammit. Had I been here 6 years and still hadn't found something, then maybe I could say there was something "wrong". But even then, who decides what's wrong or right?

I have decided to go forward with volunteering at East Oakland Boxing Association. That isn't something I had to think too hard about. The only thing making me hesitant about that decision was feeling inadequate and unqualified to potentially conduct a karate class there. Those are not valid reasons to stop myself though. If anything, those are indicators that I need to do that. Do what scares you, if you know what I mean.

So here I am again. Back at square one. My temporary job ended a week ago. Put some money in my bank account. Now what? My intention is to continue to keep my eyes open for a part-time gig that can work with my training schedule; to continue my judo and jujutsu training; and to volunteer with EOBA until I feel otherwise. There isn't much I can do about the lack of attention to fitness/health/healing in my martial arts classes; that's something I'll have to figure out for myself. There isn't much I can do about the lack of realistic training in those classes either; that's something else I'll have to figure out. And there isn't much I can do about the absence of "practical karate" teachers (along the lines of Abernethy or McCarthy) here in the Bay Area, which sucks. But it's good in a way because at least I connect to that movement and those ideas and I live here. In response to these concerns, a fellow martial arts student told me, "Looks like you'll have to start all of that." haha. Me? Little 'ol me? We'll see...

Elbow SMASH!

- Hiji Até