Facing Violence

So I'm doing my best to finish up reading Rory Miller's Facing Violence before attending his three day seminar this upcoming weekend (excited! and nervous!). I'm on the last chapter. Cool. This is a book that I actually came across in my "investigative" readings in Detroit several months back.

I'm feeling the need to blog something about what I'm reading here. I mean, there's so much important stuff in this book (I also recommend reading his Meditations on Violence as well). So much stuff to question yourself with as someone who does martial arts; to ponder about; to feel nervous about; to feel excited about; to feel frustrated about. Since there is so much stuff and since I feel like I'm still processing much of it (actually all of it and how it relates to me and my training), I've decided to just pick out various bits from the book and quote them here. That way I can help highlight this book for my fellow karateka, other martial artists, and other people in general (but especially for karateka and martial artists) and help provoke some thought with some words from "the guy who is actually there".

This bit is from Chapter 6, "The Fight":

Winning or losing, it can play on the Threat's social conditioning to end things, especially if it was a Status-Seeking Show or Educational Beat-Down and the audience is watching, "You win, dude, just let me go." (And this will trigger all of your monkey buttons, it will feel like surrendering or even begging and you have millennia of genetic conditioning not to do it. You will have to decide if you are more man than monkey and do the smart thing, and trade an internal shame for injury.) (pg. 159)

*SIDE NOTE: I'm taking these bits out of context from their chapters, so the terminology being used will not make sense to lay-readers. But even more reason to go out, buy the book and read it your damn self!

This bit is from Chapter 5, "The Freeze":

This is the thing, the difference between a fight and an assault, the victim is behind the curve, trying to play catch up, trying to figure out what the situation is and how to respond while the Threat is already well into the steps of his plan. (pg. 119)

From Chapter 3, "Avoidance":

It is better to avoid than to run, better to run than to de-escalate, better to de-escalate than to fight, better to fight than to die. (pg. 42)

Also from Chapter 3:

When you are or believe yourself to be on dangerous and alien ground, keep your mouth shut. This is hard for some people. I can't help but think that if you don't have the common sense to keep your mouth shut or you believe that your opinions and insight are so precious that everyone wants to hear them, then you probably will suck at avoiding conflict anyway. Get this, the commanding presence and facile vocabulary that made you president of your college debating team will be triggers that can get you stabbed or beaten in a different social environment. The charm and over-the-top personality that made you prom queen can get you gang-raped. (pg. 56)

And this last bit I'll take from one of the most important chapters in the book, I think...Chapter 1, "Legal and Ethical":

Hurting someone else, the intentional infliction of pain and damage, is generally wrong. Invading another's space violates social taboos you have absorbed since childhood. Most of the rules you learned about how to be a good human involved not hurting people. Most of these rules are ingrained so deeply that you are not consciously aware of them...If you ever need to defend yourself with force, you will likely run into these issues. What are your personal ethics of violence? This is deep stuff, because what the conscious mind believes often has little bearing on what the person can do...This programming is subconscious and takes a great deal of work and insight to bring out into the light of day and consciously examine. It is imperative to work it out in advance. (pg. 12)

Of course, there's so much more in this book. The context of the bits I've quoted from these chapters needs to be read and understood. I think any karateka or martial artist who is serious about their art, who is serious about matters of personal safety, or who is serious about the world of violence in general, absolutely needs to pick up these books by Miller.

If it doesn't become too much of a headache for me, I'll blog about what I learned from the upcoming Miller seminar. I'm just expecting a hecka-of-alot of information to process and I always end up sitting at this damn computer longer than I should be!

Elbow SMASH!  
- Hiji Até